HWP Holiday Classic: In Kevin We Trust / by Tim Nuttall

Oh, the holidays. The time of year for heart-warming family fun, presents, snow, lights, sugar, miracles, chaos, mischief, and pain. And what movie better encompasses all this than the 1990 holiday classic, Home Alone? Not only does this movie warm your heart and tickle your funny bone but it also has some of the most ingenious and painful boobie traps seen on screen. With a little holiday cheer, here is our ranking of the most outrageous and cringe-worthy boobie traps sweet, little Kevin McCallister had up his sleeve.

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#15) Kevin Get Your Gun:

Ingenuity: 1/10

Pain: 2/10

Laughability: 3/10 - “Hello!”

Lethality: 1/10

Total score: 7/40 = 17.5 %

#14) Drop Me a Line:

Ingenuity: 2/10 - Classic slapstick comedy.

Pain: 3/10 - Depending on take-off speed, this just ends up being more of a hinderance.

Laughability: 2/10

Lethality: 1/10 - You would have to try and kill yourself with this trap.

Total: 8/40 = 20%

#13) Itsy-bitsy:

Ingenuity: 2/10 - More luck than anything, but Kevin was smart enough to use to his advantage.

Pain: 0/10 - We’re thinking emotional scarring.

Laughability: 7/10

Lethality: 0/10 - Just don’t swallow that spider.

Total: 9/40 = 22.5%

#12) Hardy-Tar-Tar:

Ingenuity: 5/10 - Great idea but what about the clean up?

Pain: 1/10

Laughability: 3/10

Lethality: 1/10 - As long as you’re not stuck there forever.

Total: 10/40 = 25%

#11) Harry Chicken:

Ingenuity: 4/10 - This is funny and surprising but it doesn’t really break the mold.

Pain: 0/10 - ...feathers.

Laughability: 7/10

Lethality: 0/10

Total: 11/40 = 27.5%

#10) Fast and Furious:

Ingenuity: 3/10 - Kevin is very lucky they didn’t look down at this sea of cars.

Pain: 3/10 - This isn’t so much of a pain trap as it is a ‘gotcha’ trap.

Laughability: 5/10

Lethality: 1/10 - Worst case scenario: he slipped and snapped his neck or landed on a coffee table.

Total: 12/40 = 30%

#9) Everyday He’s Shoveling:

Ingenuity: 0/10 - Kevin’s plan almost failed, this was luck.

Pain: 6/10 - This is the final blow that knocks Harry and Marv out.

Laughability: 4/10

Lethality: 3/10 - This is a knockout move not a kill move.

Total: 13/40 = 32.5%

#8) Slippery Slope:

Ingenuity: 3/10 - It’s the small details that we forget about.

Pain: 4/10 - You’ll feel it but an ice pack and sleep will help.

Laughability: 7/10

Lethality: 4/10 - It’s all in the execution.

Total: 18/40 = 45%

#7) Fallen Snow Angel:

Ingenuity: 5/10 - Cutting the rope was smart but if the two weren’t so dumb they would have realized Kevin could have run away at any time and was obviously waiting for something.

Pain: 8/10 - You swing like George of the Jungle straight into a brick wall...and tell me how you feel.

Laughability: 5/10

Lethality: 2/10 - If they were higher or swung harder than this would have been a problem.

Total: 20/40 = 50%

#6) Ironman:

Ingenuity: 7/10 - Who would think a kid had the time to take apart the lightbulb and set up a fake?

Pain: 4/10 - You may be a little ‘pressed’ to get the mark off but you’ll live.

Laughability: 6/10

Lethality: 4/10 - You’ll be seeing stars for awhile.

Total: 21/40 = 52.5%

#5) Poppin Ornaments:

Ingenuity: 6.5/10 - This only works because Marv didn’t put his shoes back on. What are the chances?

Laughability: 9/10

Pain: 7/10 - Ow...

Lethality: 3/10 - This is mostly painful unless the glass draws enough blood.

Total: 25.5/40 = 63.8%

#4) The Pit and the Pendulum:

Ingenuity: 7/10 - I certainly did not see that coming...and Harry saw it too late.

Pain: 8/10 - Besides walking into a heavy swinging paint can aimed at their faces they also fall down half a flight of stairs onto the floor.

Laughability: 8/10

Lethality: 6/10 - If either bandit fell wrong or got hit in the temple than this story might have ended more gruesome.

Total: 29/40 = 72.5%

#3) Hot Head:

Ingenuity: 6/10 - Who has a casual blowtorch in their house? What does the dad do again?

Pain: 9/10 - Holy smokes he lit his head on fire.

Laughability: 7/10

Lethality: 10/10 - What if Marv had entered the back door instead of Harry? It would have burned Marv’s face off!

Total: 32/40 = 80%

#2) Doorknob from Hell:

Ingenuity: 10/10 - Who would think doing something so mundane could hurt so spectacularly?

Pain: 9/10 - Note the scars in the sequel.

Laughability: 8/10

Lethality: 7/10 - You could get an infection or have your face fall on the doorknob but it wouldn’t kill you.

Total: 34/40 = 85%

#1) Nail in the Coffin:

Ingenuity: 10/10 - What kind of sick, twisted kid--?!

Pain: 10/10 - I always cringe so much at this part.

Laughability: 8/10 - Is this really funny? I’M NOT LAUGHING ANYMORE!

Lethality: 7/10

Total: 31/40 = 87.5%

Did you agree? You have your own ranking? Let us know!